Sorry for the nearly two-month absence. It takes a friend's few words of encouragement to motivate me to blog again (thanks Chris Brooks!).
Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's my bodily condition, but I begin to feel anxious about various things. In general, I am becoming more anxious about my research because I must write my master's thesis when I start school next Winter Quarter. Before that, I need to improve my Japanese to a level comparable to my research materials. But for this second session, teachers have placed me in a lower level than the first session because only 15 of us are in the program, and they cannot divide us into too many levels. I end up being with the lowest level of students out of 3 levels. The teacher told me that I am right between level 1 and level 2. Although I finally talked to the teachers in my third week of the session, nothing has changed yet. Hopefully starting tomorrow I will see changes. I plan to talk to teachers more about it. The main problem is not the material itself but that the pace is too slow.
After the language issue, I have source problems. I want to research on female students' family background and their school life, but the materials available in Japan are mostly government regulations and documents. I also do not know my focus yet...
I also felt really exhausted today, as if all energy went elsewhere.
Many fun experiences and things have happened. I will talk about them later.
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Keep blogging! You are not alone in your issues! Talk to anyone working in a foreign language and I'm sure they/we can relate to the language-induced-stress - particularly getting ready for scholarly work in that foreign language (see under: why Kelly no longer does German History). And as for the research, it'll come. Even if a good part of your MA is describing what you couldn't fine and why you think that is - what it reveals aobut the subject, archives, etc), and then what little you were able to piece together. Remember, we're all going through the same stuff, and we're here to support you. If anyone is going to understand its your fellow grad students. I'm my full name, no spaces, all mushed together, on skype. find me!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about the Japanese sources for your MA. I used a minimal amount for mine... as in, I based a lot of what I wrote on title, captions, and a glance at some random paragraphs in things. (I'm only actually starting to read through the secondary sources now, fully realizing that they were/are beyond my current ability in Chinese. You probably realized that when I tried to do those court docs with you last year...) Our adviser says not to worry too much about it and actually told me I could consider getting a research assistant in China, if I need it, for the interviews. I wonder if my stipend will cover that! ha ha! At this rate, I might soon be a Kelly: why I no longer do Chinese history. If I can at least pass the language exam I'm still thinking world history might be a better option.
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